Friday, July 12, 2013

Turn / Five

Had no words for July until today.
Toshi Seeger slipped away and I was comforted to be reminded of her.
Such unwavering strength she had.
A stand by your man woman in the truest sense.
Fiercely attentive, sharp, doting, nurturing.
Qualities I'd like to think I shared with Alan and ones that I already see bursting out of Lily.
She too is a nurturer, just like her mama, through and through.
For Real, as she says.

With July came many turns.
Lily started camp at what will be her new school in the Fall.
A particularly special place because her dad and uncle passed through some of its same doors.
She embraced her camp group with openness,
more boldly than I as we entered its building,
my mind flooded with imagined memories of Alan in those halls, unsure yet excited of how this place will be
for her
for me
for us
These will be her doors for many years to come.

But I already love the place.
Feels Right.

For Real.

And it felt good to learn that Toshi, too, climbed some of those same stairs, learned within the same walls when she was also just a girl.

How well she turned out.
Good sign. Good sign.

And just last week, five years ago, Alan passed.

Lily nearly in his grips, definitely in his heart.
A tough month.
A rough month.
But smoothed over with family, a dog, and a trip out of town.
And the feeling of seasons turning,
With Lily growing
Leaps and Bounds
Mind expanding, hands writing, word spelling, observations flowing
Swimming on her own, wet bangs covering,
Mouth Sputtering As She Reaches The Pool Wall,
Coming up for air,
Scanning the room for my watchful gaze.

Could watch her for days.

Oh wait, I do.
Smile, yawn, smile.

There is goodness in July.

Turn, Turn, Turn (Take it Nina. Take it. But alas, new version...)