Ladybug (He Watches Over) / Father's Day

I think

I know
There was a moment
when I was with Alan,
conversing with words you hope to never exchange

and somewhere in

there,

in the air that
floats
around words,
I lightly said
I will think of you
whenever I see
Ladybugs...

Of course,
I think of him always
as he knew
I
would -
but ever since,
they have
                                  appeared
in perfect moments

in moments so poignant
it's as though they're choreographed.

For years, they have.

Almost six.

And every time I stop.
Shake my head.
Smile.
And think, couldn't be,
could it?
Until the next time it happens, again.
And then,
I know.
It was.
The last time, it was he.

So yesterday when loving fingers
placed a ladybug in
Lily's hands,
I shook my head and smiled.
Couldn't be,
I thought.

It's not Tomorrow yet.

But then tonight a moving shadow lifted my gaze,
Up
to the moulding on our living room wall.
And sure enough
There was Another, flicker crawling, lit from below.
Quick flits, fluttering wings, fleetingly present.
So now I know,
he was there
Yesterday.
And came back today
to
remind
me.