Friday, October 2, 2015

She's a Rainbow


Sometimes
it feels
like
an
eruption
has happened, in our
home.
Teenage Explosions that shower
lava
all around me
and the heat of it all
melts my resolve
instantly
and then rushes on
and
breaks
my
heart.

Such power
She has,
in her six year old frame
the anger and frustration with nowhere to go but
up
and
out

over to my corner
where I brace myself
against nothing but
hope and the spine that used to keep me so
strong
and ready
for anything

And then I have conversations,
in my mind,
with Alan -
and while he tells me she's just grappling
and struggling and missing and longing,
I tell him it feels like
she's thinking it's my fault,
she's mad at me that
You're
Not
Here
and
she's
wishing
I could go away

I think she'd like a
trade
to get
him
back.
Then maybe we'd see more
of her
cooler colors.

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